Are fetishes sexual?

Here is something I just wrote in a youtube video. I like the way it came out. I really need to expand it though. It is tough to express a complex and still coherent thought in 500 characters.

Hard data is difficult to come by, but what does exists suggests that most fetishes develop before puberty. A fetish is just something weird that makes you happy. It is not that the fetish object is "sexy" but that being happy increases your libido. For vanillas as well as kinky folks, this might include dancing or walking on the beach or eating foods they enjoy.

When a person grows older they might or might not incorporate sexual activities into their fetish.

ABDL Origins

(Someone on youtube asked me to explain why people become ABDL. This is my reply.)

I've been meaning to write more extensively on this, and I'll let you know when I do, but I'll give you the short version now.

It is difficult if not impossible to say why someone becomes an ABDL. Many ABDLs attribute certain life events to it, but there is no way to tell if things had been different that they would not be an ABDL anyway.

There are many reasons that individuals give for their ABDL origins, and one person's origin story might be the opposite of another.

There are a fair number of people who had problems with bedwetting or even pants wetting. Some of these people were forced to wear diapers because of this, others wanted to wear diapers as a sensible means of protection, but were not allowed to do so.

Some people were envious of the attention a younger sibling received. Others were the "baby" of the family. Some were forced to grow up too quickly, and others were over sheltered. Some came from abusive homes, and some had typical, happy childhoods.

Part of what I would like to research is why do people get fetishes in general. From what I read on Wikipedia, most fetishes develop in early childhood. Assuming this is true you would expect fetishes to develop for objects and circumstances that are normally encountered by young children. For example, young children crawl around on the floor all the time, and feet and shoe fetishes are two of the most common fetishes.

Addressing the question of "Why do we like this?" and Mental Health

I've been wanting to write more about the psychology behind adult babies. This is a subject that is way to complicated for youtube comments. It would probably be a series of blog posts. I've been meaning to dig out my old psychology textbooks, but life is just too busy.

I just made 3 posts in reply to the last post of someone from a week ago. He questions our mental health but does not seem hostile and seems to understand that he has no facts to back up how he feels. I think he genuinely wants to understand what is going on in our heads. He just feels that there must be something wrong.

I thought the discussion got more interesting when he question if an AB would still be an AB after twenty years. At this point I am only going to post my comments and let you read between the lines to figure out what they wrote.

There are a lot of adult babies out there and different ABs give many different answers to the question why they are an AB. Assuming that an individual does attribute their fetish to a traumatic event there is no way to tell for sure if things had been different that they would have turned out AB anyway. And nearly all ABs who have psychological issues remain adult babies after they have resolved those issues.

 There are exceptions, but for the most part yes. I've been doing this for almost 20 years. I have AB friends who are in their 60s who have been doing this longer than I have, and I once saw an AB at a convention that had to be in his 80s. This is just something that some people really enjoy doing. This isn't any more likely to change than someone who enjoys certain genres of music or literature. Would you expect any different from people with other kinks such as people who enjoy spanking?

part 1 - This is a difficult issue to understand. There is not enough room in youtube comments to explain it adequately. I appreciate that you have been civil in your replies to my comments. I also appreciate the fact that many people get an uncomfortable feeling when they first learn about this fetish. You are having an emotional reaction and that is not something that you can control. This is why I try to stick to the facts.

part 2 - Your instincts are telling you that there is something wrong, but instincts can be wrong. Conc0rdance has a good video on this called "Common Sense Is Worthless in Science"
Assessing someone's mental health is a medical claim. It needs to be looked at scientifically with real world evidence, not simply declaring that someone is crazy after watching a "Reality TV" show. Unless you can provide evidence, you cannot rightly claim that there is a problem with someone's sanity.

part 3 - Curiosity is something to be admired. Asking questions is a good thing. I think that you actually are interested in real answers.
Why do people like this? The answer is complicated and in fact there are different answers for different people. Another question is why do people like anything?
It is more complicated than this but there are areas of the brain that when they light up you are happy. Any number of things can stimulate these areas and this varies from person to person.

I re-wrote the middle of part 2. Here is what I first wrote and then changed to medical claim and science:

If you are going to question a person's mental health, you have to have real world facts to support your claim that there is something wrong such as they are "a threat to themselves or others."

I liked this but felt that what I replaced it with was more in line with the idea of common sense vs science.

How to deal with trolls

What is a troll?

Here is an interaction I had on youtube about a month ago. I am posting it because it explains explicitly what trolling is.

this is weird. but it was more annoying watching... it?... colour IN THE FUCKING LINES
if you're addicted to acting like a baby, then you scribble, you fucking asshole

There is no need for you to get so upset.
This is roleplaying. Lots of people do roleplaying, AB play is just one kind of roleplaying. There are many different ways to do this roleplaying, or any other, and there is no reason it has to be realistic or logical.
If I want to play Resident Evil, or read Stephen Hawking while roleplaying as a baby that is my business. If you don't like it that is your problem not mine.
Haha! I'm having fun and you can't stop me!

NO. YOURE WRONG. THIS IS FUCKING STUPID. YOU'RE FUCKING STUPID. IF YOU'RE A BABY. YOU DONT COLOUR IN THE LINES. END OF STORY. PLAY THE FUCKING PART RIGHT, IF YOUR GOING TO GO THAT FAR INTO PLAYING THE PART
PS. YOUR DUMBASS JUST GOT TROLLED. PZ.

I've been trolled?
Are you saying that you don't really care if Adult Babies color within the lines?

that's exactly what i'm saying. it was a joke in the first place.
are you aware this is the internet?
you must be new here

Now, there are many ways that I could have responded to this. I could have explained that I was only asking because I wasn't sure if he knew what trolling means. I could have replied "I just wanted to illustrate what trolling is for the audience at home." I could have argued that since I did not become emotionally involved I was not actually trolled. Revealing yourself as a troll on your second comment is almost antithetical to the point of trolling which is to try to drag the conversation on and on making the person you are trolling more and more upset.

And that is why I am posting this here. I want to illustrate that trolls do not care about anything except making you upset. If you don't allow yourself to become upset they will find someone else to troll. And sometimes the best thing you can do is let them have the last word or even just ignore them from the beginning.

That is why at this point in the conversation I decided to just drop it. I have nothing against trolling, but I would rather they move on rather than target ABDLs. Either way there is no way to "win" an arguement with a troll, so don't bother trying. A big part of why furries get so much shit is because so many of them take the bait when they are trolled. The reality of the situation is nobody cares.

Grow Up

I was checking out some of the less active videos today and ran across something I posted 4 months ago in response to someone saying that we need to "grow up." I think my response came out well.

In the real world people do all sorts of things that are weird, that don't make sense, do not harm anyone. Adult Babies is just one among many weird activities. All over the world, and in your neighborhood people are enjoying themselves right now.

If you have a problem that is your problem not mine. I am happy with my life and I don't need anyone's approval. If you can't stand the idea of people having fun then you are the one who needs to grow up.

Emotions vs Facts (Just a couple of posts to the Youtubes)

Just a couple of posts I am making to the youtubes right now. Maybe they are just reiterations of things I've said before but I want to jot them down for now.

If someone says that they don't like something or someone, then that is their opinion, which is subjective, and cannot be verified of falsified. On the other hand, if a person says that someone is "sick" or "wrong," these are factual statements. Those making a claim are subject to the burden of proof.

I would not call them "close minded" or a "bigot" because that is an ad hominem and not relevant to the topic of discussion. What matters is they are responsible for backing up their claim.

And a separate, but very much related comment:

People have emotions and emotions are not always rational. When someone has an emotional reaction, that is not something that they can control, so I am not going to blame them for that. What matters is people's actions. 

Posting to a public forum is an action,  but merely expressing your emotions is at worst rude, and there are lots of rude people out in the real world, so I have no argument with their emotions, even if I disagree with them.

Their emotions are their problem, not mine.

The above comments were not made to anyone in particular, but are a reaction to the general discussion over the last couple days.

Here is a comment that is a direct reply to a specific post. You can read between the lines to guess what they wrote.

You might think it is "too much" but that is not your decision to make. Riley's life belongs to her. Unless she is violating the life, liberty or property of another she is free to live her life as she chooses.

If you don't like the way that she lives her life then that is OK because that is your problem, not hers and not mine. Just don't pretend that you can draw factual conclusions based entirely upon your emotions.

Does anyone think I should repost most of my comments here? Or is anyone actually reading this stuff?

Haters Gonna Hate

If you are going to respond to haters, one thing that I feel cannot be said enough is don't take it personally. For one thing, often it is hard to tell the difference between a sincere hater and a troll. A troll does not necessarily care about what we do, they may just be pretending to be a hater. The only thing a troll cares about is eliciting an emotional reaction. How to tell the difference between a troll and a hater can be tricky. There is a similar situation with religious extremism known as Poe's Law.

At the end of the day it doesn't make much of a difference since they both tend to act the same. This illustrates another point that I would like to make. When you are responding to a hater, do not think that you are going to change their mind. If they really are a hater you are unlikely to change their mind. If they are a troll they don't really care in the first place, they just want to get your goat.

If I am not trying to change people's minds, what am I trying to accomplish when I respond to their comments? I am trying to be a voice of reason and give some perspective to other people who might be reading the comments. Not everyone is going to have a strong opinion on this subject. If the only posts they see are negative then they may see the issue as one sided. On the other hand, if you come off as a reactionary, or just as much of a jerk as the hater, then people will get a negative impression of the ABDL community.

It is very important not to allow yourself to be upset by the comments of haters. For one thing, it will reflect in your posts, and distract from the real issues at hand. Maybe they are a bigot, maybe they are not. It does not matter though because it distracts from the issue at hand. Tolerance goes both ways, and remember tolerance does not mean acceptance. You can tolerate a person being a bigot and still think that their position is wrong.

Freedom of speech applies to everyone regardless of if they are right or wrong. Bigots have freedom of speech to post comments in a public forum, and we have the freedom of speech to respond to their comments and call their BS BS. Remember that they are the one making a factual claim so they have the burden of proof to provide evidence to support their claim.

I think the best way to do this is to respond apathetically with logic and reason, and respect whether they deserve it or not. If they are a troll they will get bored when no one gets upset. If they are really a hater then love, tolerance and respect will drive them completely up the wall. I find it quite amusing myself. They get progressively more upset with each rational comment you make, and they reveal themselves as the raving lunatics they really are.

Another thing, who really gives a dirty diaper what some loser on the internet who you've never met thinks about you? They are not worthy of your ire. Besides, even if you were not an Adult Baby there would still be people out there who would hate you. For anything that a person could be or do there is someone out there that will hate them for it. I am tempted to propose this to be Rule 43, as it is sort of the antithesis of Rule 34. I did a search and there are already three separate definitions for Rule 43 on Urban Dictionary, but I don't know if any of them have wide acceptance.

Anyway, you don't need the acceptance of anyone except those who mutually consent to participate with you. Tolerance can be a tricky issue, but if you are conservative about who you tell about this, and I think you should be, that should not be much of an issue. If you are considering telling someone that you are an ABDL, you need to ask the question, do they really need to know? Remember, a person cannot discriminate against you for being an ABDL if they don't know you are an ABDL.

The Philosophy of Liberty is based on the principle of Self-Ownership. You own your life. To deny this is to imply that another person has a higher claim on your life than you do. No other person, or group of persons, owns your life, nor do you own the lives of others. You may live your life as you choose so long as you do not violate the life, liberty or property of another person. Never mind the haters. Life is precious. You should enjoy it.

Responding to Religious Based Arguments

Recently an antagonist has been making a lot of comments, mostly, or entirely, based on their religious beliefs. The first comment I made was not in reply to any of their comments, but when they replied to my comment I replied back. What they wrote was not particularly noteworthy so I will not bother to post any of it here.

Religious based arguments are irrelevant. Riley lives in the US where we have freedom of religion. Riley, like everyone else in the US has the right to follow the religion of her choice, or not, as she sees fit. There is no official state religion here.
Also note that ABDLs are a diverse group. It is not surprising that the majority of ABDLs in the US are Christians, as that is the religion of the majority in the US. In Dubai or Iran I expect that the majority of ABDLs there follow Islam.

You have a right to believe whatever you want to believe. You have a right to your own opinion, but you do not have a right to your own facts.
When you express that someone is "sick" you are making a factual claim. Factual claims require evidence based in reality. When you post such claims in a public forum, others may respond by challenging you to provide evidence to support your claim.

Normal is boring. Come to the dark side. We have cookies! :)

I didn't think this was my best comment when I posted it. It was mostly for the humor. As far as I know the poster that I was replying to was not being negative towards ABDLs, at least they were not being overtly so. Anyway, the comment now has a score of +22, and was in the Highest Rated Comments for a few days. Maybe it was a better comment than I thought.

This makes me feel normal.

Normal is boring. Come to the dark side. We have cookies! :)
Seriously though, beyond their AB activities, most ABs are pretty normal.
Personally I don't have any problem with the word weird. There is nothing inherently bad or good about being normal or weird. I prefer to judge things based on their own merits rather than moral relativism.

Suck it Up

Here are my replies to a person on youtube who asked "why can't these people suck it up?" When I asked him to clarify because his question didn't make much sense he talked about coal miners in third world countries and how none of them ever complain, and none of them are ABDL. My reply took up three posts. Maybe I should have made it more concise, but obviously there was a lot to clear up. I could have written even more but three posts is pushing things. In fact, it hasn't accepted the third post yet so maybe I should leave it with the first two for now. I really shouldn't post more than twice in one day to the same video. But it is only in the third post that I address his main question so hopefully this won't get me into trouble. Others are posting a lot more than I do anyway on this particular video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LY5Z6tyrY8 

You seem to be making a number of assumptions.
Adults have responsibilities. They have to earn income to support themselves, they have to pay their bills, keep their home clean and maintained etc. etc. I'll leave it here for lack of space.
After an adult has taken care of their responsibilities they have time for themselves. For people who are adult babies one of the things that they enjoy doing in their free time is wearing diapers and age regression roleplaying. {end p1}


{part 2}
ABDLs are a very diverse group. We come from all ethnic, family, political, religious and socioeconomic backgrounds. There are ABDLs in all 50 states of the US, and every region in the world, including the middle east and third world countries.
ABDLs may be employed as Fortune 500 executives, or as truck drivers or construction workers or IT professionals, or small business owners, etc. etc.
We get the job done, and when we are done we have time to ourselves. {end p2}

{part 3}

The amount of complaining a person does is irrelevant to whether they are an ABDL or not. Everyone has to deal with the hand they're dealt. Some people are better off than others. In all walks of life there are people who complain. It is a good guess that ABDLs number over 100k in the U.S. Of course some of them are going to be complainers. Whether ABDLs complain more or less than the general population is another question entirely.

I posted the 3rd comment, but didn't have enough room for my concluding question:

What does being ABDL have to do with complaining?